i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
