have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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