P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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