her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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