I'm really into asian looking animals
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
