I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
