if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
