i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
