Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
