Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
