perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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