Where are you?
In a non slutty way
wat bout pragnant strippers??
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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