yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
