the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
