she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
