Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
