Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
