the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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