I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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