she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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