i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
