I feel like I'm in dance class right now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
