I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
