And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
