O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
