I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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