You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
