Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
