I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
