hotel room ftw
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
