pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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