Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize