I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
