What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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