I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
