I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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