And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
