I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
