this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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