Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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