Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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