Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Found the puke drawer
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
