my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
