i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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