it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
