Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
