Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
