i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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