It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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