There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
