ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
