why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
