So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
