Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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