sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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