Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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