I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
