Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
...so i touched it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
