he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
