I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Text me some of your sweat
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
