I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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