have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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