Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
