Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My cat gives me a boner
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
