I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Boobs speak an international language.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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