I skipped work to stalk him.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
