I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
